How to respond to a loved one’s conspiracy theories

When Donald Trump made false claims about cat-eating migrants in this week’s presidential debate, Kamala Harris burst into laughter.

It may have been an effective debate technique for the vice president to challenge the former president’s policy positions, but psychologists and extremism experts say it’s better for ordinary Americans not to respond to a loved one’s conspiracy theories with derision.

“We don’t want to shame people for believing a false narrative,” says Sara Aniano, a disinformation analyst at the Anti-Defamation League’s Center on Extremism.

For one thing, denigrating the believer is generally not an effective way to convince someone that a story isn’t true. According to clinical psychologist Loren Soeiro, fact-based arguments can lead to defensive reactions rather than listening and acceptance.

“As you might imagine, the least effective argument against a conspiracy is a mocking, sarcastic tone or an attempt to ridicule it,” Soeiro wrote in Psychology Today magazine titled “How to Talk to the Conspiracy Theorist in Your Life.”

“Being sarcastic or mocking or openly challenging effectively causes the person to disagree with you even more,” he told USA TODAY. “Triggering defensive behavior is a good way to get nowhere.”

There are scientifically based reasons why belief in a conspiracy can be difficult to disprove, experts say. Understanding why people fall for conspiracy theories is the first step to encouraging respectful conversations and even “immunizing” people from believing a conspiracy theory in the future.

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Why do people believe in conspiracy theories?

An unsubstantiated story about Haitian migrants eating pets in Ohio went viral after Republican vice presidential candidate JD Vance shared the claims on social media with millions of followers — despite them being debunked by local authorities. When Trump repeated the story during the presidential debate in front of 67 million viewers, it metastasized.

“Theories like this one come up all the time,” Aniano said. “They don’t always get as much traction as this one. But when influencers share theories, that kind of engagement can increase the credibility of the narrative – even if it’s been debunked.”

Science assumes that there are three reasons why people believe in conspiracy theories.

The first motivation is “epistemic”: Conspiracy theories arise from the human need to understand the world, according to an Anti-Defamation League discussion of research by Karen Douglas, who studies the psychology of conspiracy theories at the University of Kent in England. When people experience uncertainty, they cling to explanations that give them certainty, even when those explanations are too simplistic or simply wrong.

The second motivation is “existential.” People need to feel safe and secure. If they feel they have no control over the events that affect them, they may fall for a conspiracy theory that offers an explanation for why they lack control and who is to blame – even if that theory is false.

Third, there is a social motivation. Having exclusive access to information that is withheld from someone else can give one a sense of superiority and boost one’s self-esteem. Likewise, believing that a conspiracy gives someone a moral high ground makes it much harder for someone to let go.

“People believe this because it’s part of their identity; it’s part of the team they’ve chosen to be on,” says Lee McIntyre, a research fellow at Boston University and author of “On Disinformation” and “How to Talk to a Science Denier.”

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“Facts are not enough,” he said. “You can talk someone out of something like that by showing them, in a calm, patient and respectful encounter, that they can trust you.” But, he added, “that’s hard when people have chosen a side.”

How to talk to someone who believes in a conspiracy theory

When a loved one decides to believe something that is proven to be untrue, psychologists recommend starting a conversation that is respectful and non-judgmental. Psychologist Soeiro suggests the following approach:

• Be open-minded, listen without judging, and try not to get defensive. “Be willing to listen to the person when they say things you disagree with without immediately having to challenge them,” he said.

• Be curious about the origins of the conspiracy theory. Try asking how they found out about the theory and be open to the answers. “It’s really hard to have these conversations,” he said. “Often the person who harbors conspiracy beliefs is holding back in their relationships for fear of being judged.”

• Ask how the information made them feel or influenced their perspective. “It’s more about empathy, about understanding the person you’re talking to a little bit better,” Soeiro said.

It can be incredibly difficult to dissuade someone from believing in a conspiracy theory once they’ve latched onto it, but research suggests that people can be better trained to spot false narratives or identify unreliable sources to prevent themselves from falling victim to disinformation in the future.

“Misinformation is an accident,” McIntyre said. “Disinformation is a lie. It is a deliberate fabrication, invented by someone and amplified by others to achieve the goal that person wants. They will invent and spread a lie because it serves their economic or political interests.”

“So in some ways we have to be cautious of the people who believe that,” he said. “In some ways they are the victims; they are being manipulated.”

Lauren Villagran can be reached at [email protected].

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Election Survival Guide: How to Deal with Conspiracy Theories