Tips for parents to ease their children’s anxiety about returning to school

Sometimes the nervousness before the new school year is exciting for children. Other times it causes fear.

A local mental health expert and therapist says there are simple things you can do at home to help ease the transition and stress for everyone in your household.

“Most children just need to know that someone is there who understands them and has their back,” says Lex Remillard, a psychotherapist specializing in children and young adults.

He says the key to easing anxiety about returning to school is networking.

Anxiety, he adds, is usually caused by fear.

“Sometimes parents give in to that fear and try to fix everything,” says Remillard. “But that doesn’t really fix it. It actually makes the problem worse.”

Instead, he says, you should turn fear into enthusiasm.

“Remind them of seeing their friends and getting new teachers,” he says. “Tell them how great this whole year is going to be and how they’re growing.”

And we cannot grow, he says, if we do not face and embrace change.

“You want to show them that they are in a great time in their lives,” he says. “It can be emotionally difficult, but all of those difficulties are the reason for growth. It should be scary because you are growing and that is a positive thing.”

Here is a big piece of this puzzle.

Remillard says parents often project their own fears onto their children.

Breaking this cycle begins with the presence of adults in the room.

“Parents, you have to take care of yourself,” he says. “I ask your child to take care of himself. Everyone has to do their part. How do you take care of yourself?”

Are you dealing with your own stuff? Because when you deal with it, you’re actually more present in someone else’s life, and that’s the way to go.”

Remillard also says that we need to be authentic with children. Be real.

If you’re having a bad day, tell others. It’s not about perfection, it’s about connection.